Tag: Self Help

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Feed Your Fractal of Wellness and Success – February 2017 Newsletter Article

Wellness and success, like everything else, is fractal in nature and follows certain, discernible rhythms and cycles.

Things rarely occur “all at once”.  Each season reveals an expansion phase and a contraction phase which lasts for over 3 months.  The process of spring starts within winter and expires within summer.  Everything is energy and it all follows sine wave patterns of ebb and flow.

Wellness and success also follow the same sine wave pattern: the larger being birth to death and this is filled with shorter sine waves, which form the flow of our well-being and success.  Everything follows the cycles of our Earth.

The seasons are marked with solstices and equinoxes and these same patterns can be found within all aspects of our life journey.  Wellness starts deep within illness and continues through to healing (expansion phase) and declines with the next challenge to our health (contraction phase).  The oscillations will always be there but we can minimize the discomfort by reducing the intensity of the sine wave.

Just like Yin and Yang, there is light during the winter solstice as we perform light rituals all around the world.  We also bring in the cold of winter during the summer solstice as we add ice to our beverages, and seek the shade of day and the cool of evening.

In like manner, there will be days of suffering during wellness and days of comfort during times of illness.  The sine waves of life are gradual because as humans, we experience time in very slow terms as 3D reality.  Matter is energy in extreme slow motion: Energy = Mass times the speed of light (C) squared.

My sociology professor, Roger Albert, describes the sine wave of the goings on within societies as being like an argyle sock pattern.  In a similar way, Thorstein Bunde Veblen, the sociologist, looked at the process of society as being like a river.  If you observe a river over time, you will see that its form is constantly changing as matter is picked up here and dropped off there.  Life is a process where we, like the rivers, pick up data, beliefs, habits, behaviours, etc. and we drop them off as we go along upskilling ourselves with new data, beliefs, habits and behaviours.  We are ever changing, growing and evolving.  Everything we perceive is a fractal phenomenon of change.  The ups & downs of life can also be summarized with the saying: “this too shall pass”.

Everything from the foods we eat to the energy we share as we perfect our craft cycles throughout life: small cycles within larger cycles: expansion and contraction: death and renewal.  Yin and Yang.  When we look at our life process in this way, we become more concerned with the quality of our lives rather than quantity.  Each moment is a gift, and we are constantly making decisions on the care and upkeep of this gift as we care for our bodies and perceptions in the Now.  This is self-love.

Self-love dissolves madness.  It is madness to knowingly harm ourselves, but millions do so as they continue to consume food-like products and indulge in a plethora of other addictions.  During the ebb and flow of life’s cycles, a harm-reduction strategy can easily be established with help from our Inner Guru – who knows every detail about us.  All we need do is be willing to listen, learn and apply.

This is called crafting life.  Self-love makes crafting life possible.  It starts by becoming very open and honest with ourselves about what we truly desire in life.  We often push our heartfelt desires away because we don’t think they are realistic or obtainable.  Succeed and become well within the oscillations of life.  Spend time every day thinking about what you truly desire.  Then ask yourself: What would be better than this?  Let your imagination out for a run.  When you feel truly joyful, you know you have found your bliss.  Now make the decision to go after your desire and spend some time choosing your first baby-steps.  Don’t plan too far ahead.  Check in with the Inner Guru and clarify to course correct as you go.  Just keep your eyes on the prize, and enjoy the process as it occurs in the Now.

It doesn’t take long before you begin to notice easier ways of doing things.  In the Now state, it becomes possible and desirable to apply harm reduction strategies because in these sacred moments, we are healed of our insanity.  This is how we leave non compos mentis and gain compos mentis, or mastery over ourselves.

Eventually, we spend longer and longer periods of time being fully present as we stop wasting our energy on fruitless distractions.  This energy serves us very well as we reach mastery of the Observer Within.  We are less hindered by time and distance as we raise our personal resonant frequency and more things become possible.

Heartfelt desire is the seed, and within this fertile zone of being, all things become possible and probable.  Wellness and success, like everything else, is fractal in nature and follows certain, discernable rhythms and cycles.  Keep your eyes open to reveal the opportunities found within the sine wave patterns of ebb and flow.  Presence and awareness unlock the vaults of abundance and health.  This is how we feed our fractal flow of wellness and success.

Good Health to You!

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New Year’s Resolutions – January 2017 Newsletter Article

Let’s face it, fixing things makes us feel good.  In effect, New Year’s resolutions are an attempt to feel better by fixing something – usually personal habits and behaviours.

For some time now, I have been observing my life as a game.  My game plan is to fix myself with help from my Inner Guru, and then as I gain momentum, teach others to fix themselves by assisting them to find their own personal Inner Guru.

How do I access and utilize my Inner Guru?  I create space within so there is a “place” for my Inner Guru to emerge.  I spend time every day sitting without distractions.  I let my thoughts flow without censorship or judgement from the position of an observer.  Doing so allows me to experience “a-ha!-moments” found within my observations (quite obvious from the observer perspective).  Other names for those “A-ha! moments” are Eureka! Hallelujah! Epiphany!  In this way, I fix myself simply through awareness.

Once I became adept with this process, my Inner Guru just started to jump into my awareness as I go about my daily life experience.  Since life is a great big social experiment, why not rely on these “a-ha! moments” while you discern what you want out of life, and then plot your course to get there.  Only one small step at a time needs to be figured out in any detail.

Along with noticing thoughts, become more aware of body sensations.  Refrain from telling yourself a story about these sensations.  Resist the urge to remember how and when any unpleasant physical/emotional feelings began, or what they mean.  Resist the urge to self-diagnose or see bodily sensations as a problem, no matter how intense the sensation may be.  Just feel your feelings while you try to relax.  Focus on your breathing.  Thank your body for the healing, and your Inner Guru for the message.  Keep breathing.

The process of healing the body and emotions can be a painful, undesirable experience, but only in the light of presence, can we understand this process and the messages contained within the experience.  The injury only hurts at the moment it occurs, while the illness may not hurt at all until you are faced with the healing.  All sensations that occur after the initial injury are the result of your body and mind repairing itself.

For example, when we first get a cold or flu, we are not aware of our illness and this is when we are most contagious.  The symptoms occur as the body defends and repairs itself.  The runny nose, the sore throat, swollen glands and headache are all the symptoms of healing, and this is why by the time the symptoms emerge, you are usually no longer contagious.

Healing hurts!  The symptoms are the healing.  So if we go to see the doctor for a prescription to alleviate the symptoms, we inadvertently stop or slow down our own healing.  Now of course, if I broke my arm, I would go to see the doctor and probably take something so I could deal with the pain initially, but you get my point.  The doctor may reset the bones and put on a cast, but the pain from the injury is created by my body healing itself.

I find the same is true for my emotions.  It is the “A-ha!s” that cure us, and “A-ha! moments” do not come from thoughts.  They come from calm observation of the self, and from feeling the feelings, and then breathing through them during quiet periods of self-contemplation.

In the past, every time I felt emotional pain, I ran for the closest distraction.  At times, this included inadvertently inflicting physical suffering upon myself, in order to not feel my feelings, and to distract myself from the message.  I was ignoring my Inner Guru and the wealth of awareness and learning these experiences offered me.

For some of us, over-eating serves this purpose.  Over-eating can cause oneself enough physical discomfort to create a distraction from undesirable feelings.  As a harm reduction strategy, I do not limit my food intake, but limit instead the range of foods I allow myself to eat.  If I am going to over-eat, then I may as well build up my health and detoxify in the process.  As we eat, we can feel our feelings and sort ourselves out.  I call this my “have my cake and eat it to” approach to expanding awareness within imperfection.

As mentioned earlier, “A-ha! moments” do not come from thoughts.  If we could figure it all out with thoughts and self-soothing stories, we would not continue to suffer.  Through self-contemplation, I found that most of my personal baggage was the result of all of the “loose ends” I had accumulated in the past.  I had the habit of leaving a lot of business unfinished.

I also use self-reflective times for problem-solving by looking at matters from a new, impartial viewpoint.  My awareness expands with every “a-ha! moment”.  This is how our higher selves, or Inner Guru, heals us.  But if we do not take the courage to feel our feelings and look at things which may make us feel uncomfortable, our “A-ha!s” are stunted and may rarely occur.

This is part of the Ascension process.  We clarify and evolve over and over again, earning for ourselves better health and happier lives.  Even if we do not get to the state of totally curing ourselves, and find ourselves dying physically, the social experiment continues and we continue to face more “A-ha! moments” of expanding awareness and consciousness.

Let’s face it, fixing things makes us feel good.  Perhaps our New Year’s resolutions could be to spend time each day in quiet self-contemplation making space for our own Inner Guru and healing.

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Eating for Optimal Gut Health – August 2016 Newsletter Article

In my past I missed out on much of life because I didn’t feel well enough to participate.  When I became sick and tired of being sick and tired, I got serious about my recovery.  I saw many doctors and specialists who came up with labels like: fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, PTSD, depression, colitis, migraines, acid reflux – but despite the many pharmaceuticals they prescribed, I did not get better.  I got worse.

In 2006 I had a severely botched abdominal surgery which left me with a seriously compromised digestive system and toxic body.  It is a miracle that I survived my 6 week stay in hospital, and the suffering I experienced after I was sent home.  This experience brought me to my knees and I was ready to do anything to get better, (suicide was my only other option to escape the intense suffering).

In 2007 I did a 43 day raw juice fast, which detoxified my body but did little to heal my gut.  I was still suffering.  After this, I transitioned to a raw vegan lifestyle which gave me plenty of nutrients but again, did little to heal my gut.  I was still suffering.  Since eating “super healthy” did not bring me the expected results, I added seafood, eggs and dairy to my diet.  By 2011 I was diagnosed with cancer and returned to eating mostly organic, raw vegetables, seaweeds, and berries, with the addition of organic eggs, yogurt and the occasional cage-free chicken.  This was my semi-lacto-oval vegetarian phase, and I was able to cure all of my cancer symptoms within 3 months, but I was still experiencing gastric distress.

The importance of Gut Biome to overall health and well-being has only recently come to light.  Prior to this year, I thought that taking a good quality probiotic along with sauerkraut and other fermented foods was all I needed to improve my gut health.  Then mid-June of this year, I was again brought to my knees with digestive pain for about a month, which the doctor identified as severe gastritis with complications due to my previous 7 major abdominal surgeries.  BTW I tried digestive enzymes and they were counter-productive.

A friend suggested bone broth as an alternative cure and I did some research.  I was surprised to find out that I had created the “perfect storm” by eating everything on the FODMAPs avoid list.

What is FODMAPs?  It is an acronym for a list of very common, but undigestible foods for people with sensitive/leaky guts.  According to the research, avoiding FODMAPs and consuming bone broth for 6 weeks would help heal my gut allowing for a whole new level of wellness.  Afterwards, I will be able to digest my food, and as I slowly reintroduce a broader range of foods, I will find out which foods are going to stay on my permanent avoid list.

After living a raw vegan lifestyle for over a year, I was concerned about returning to animal products.  A friend suggested a local meat market that only carries grass fed, humanely treated, chemical free meats, so I bought some soup bones and some bone broth and started my new eating program.

Within 24 hours I felt a whole lot better.  After about 10 days, I noticed improvement to my health.  For one thing, I felt very calm and unshakeable.  My life-long troubles with neck and hip pain, complicated with several forms of arthritis, no longer exist.  I now have much smoother range of motion.  I also suffered from TMJ, (which causes face, jaw, and ear pain with headaches) for over 40 years, and this too is no longer the case.  Then there is my newfound bowel health, absence of bloating and abdominal distress.  I even noticed an improvement in my eyesight!

At this point, I am following a paleo approach to eating, avoiding FODMAPs and consuming bone broth with sea weeds.  I am enjoying the absence of brain fog, and am much more productive over-all.  What I have learned is that there is no one right way to eat.  We are indogenous beings, which means we can adapt to many different environments and ways of eating.

I suggest we consider our blood type, and dominant ancestral background before we start a new eating plan.  Peoples of the arctic thrive on mostly meat and animal fat, peoples from the tropics do well with tropical fruits and taro. I have a strong Anglo-Saxon background and suspect a paleo approach suits my needs best.  A simple diet of bone broth, grass fed meats/fats and all of the low FODMAP fruits and vegetables are what I need right now to heal my gut, and strengthen my body.

The moral of my story is: regardless of lifestyle, if you are eating well, have cut out processed/refined foods and are not thriving, then perhaps you are having trouble digesting your food.  Do the research and find out if your gut needs some T.L.C.

As you experiment, my website will continue to assist, so you can transform your life and become the healthiest, happiest you possible!  Quantum Health Transformation™ is the same flexible program I use myself; and this free online 9 Step course will assist everyone (with any health or lifestyle concerns) to heal, evolve and thrive.  I also offer orgone generating products and a full range of educational and support services.  You are not alone.

Freedom from illness, freedom from fear and loneliness, freedom from feelings of separation and alienation: I will assist you with your freedom process.

Karen Holton BSW, Diploma in Women’s Studies, Health Coach & Lightworker.FODMAPs

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Social Role Playing and Resistance – June 2016 Newsletter Article

As I work on my article to appear in the July issue of Sibyl Magazine: for the Spirit & Soul of Woman, I find myself coming to some realizations about the spiritual/health aspects of social role-playing.

When we play an assigned social role (like: Mother, Son, Life-partner, Employee, etc.), there are specific expectations attached.  These roles have been honed through time and adapted to make us fit better into mainstream society. However, many assigned social roles support old paradigm life but do little to support us in new paradigm living.

Assigned social roles (as opposed to authentic living), provide a simplistic caricature of our whole selves.  These offer a small window into a stereotype, which is seen publicly.  When we deny our authentic selves, we not only hide who we are, we become physically, mentally and spiritually ill.  The body develops disease, the mind makes errors in thinking and perceiving, while the spirit expresses its discontent by producing strong, intense emotions.  This is our feedback/guidance system.

Evolving within new paradigm realities requires our stepping outside of “the box”: a social/cultural, economic/political construct, which we are taught is reality.

With so much freedom to redefine ourselves to our own expectations, why do the majority of people stay stuck in assigned roles and mainstream thinking?

Stepping outside of “the box” shakes up the status quo as we observe for ourselves that “the emperor is indeed naked”.  The old paradigm resists change by assigning negative labels, and by pathologizing those who are clearly evolving into something new.  The “gatekeepers” of the old paradigm do not understand that which they have not personally experienced, so they stigmatize and ostracize those who do make the shift into new paradigm realities.

Outside of “the box” sociality is often considered deviance and is met with state and socially sanctioned deprogramming, chemical lobotomising (like: anti-psychotics, sedatives and anti-depressants), re-socialization techniques, disenfranchisement, and at times, institutionalization.  These are powerful deterrents!

We are complex beings and as my Quantum Health Transformation Step 9 videos demonstrate, we are like Nubby Balls.  Each nub is an aspect of ourselves and there are infinite aspects to each one of us: both light and shadow.  We are also like a nub on a Nubby Ball: each one of us unique – an expression of divinity diversified!

Authentic living is our healthy road to evolution and it will get turbulent (Chaos Theory) before a new pattern of order emerges.  Shifting into new paradigm reality involves a total overhaul of the old paradigm, which is fighting to stay in power by exerting intense pressure on non-conformists.  The status quo must go.  On a personal and global level, there is a rebirth phase, followed by an awkward phase and then finally we will see mastery of new paradigm living.

As we step out of our assigned roles, we will feel the pain and persecution of change – but we will survive.  Regardless of which system we spend our time in, life is a classroom, knowledge is power – open your mind.  Find your authentic self, self-actualize and prepare to be amazed with life in the new paradigm.

My website will give you everything you need to transform and release your authentic self.  Quantum Health Transformation™ is the same program I use myself; in fact I developed it as I lost and keep off 178 pounds of excess weight and continue to evolve and enjoy the life I have always wanted. This free on-line 9 Step course will assist anyone (with any health or lifestyle concerns) to heal, evolve and thrive. I also offer an expanding selection of products to help you to get started, and a full range of educational and support services.  You are not alone.

Freedom is our goal.  Freedom from illness, freedom from fear and loneliness, freedom from feelings of separation and alienation: I will assist you with your freedom process.

Karen Holton BSW, Diploma in Women’s Studies, Health Coach & Lightworker.

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QHT: A New Health Paradigm – May 2016 Newsletter Article

In what way is Quantum Health Transformation™ a new health paradigm?

In response, let me tell you what I have noticed: most people want to find the easiest way to improve their health, vitality and abundance; but unfortunately they look to old paradigm methods or fall for mere marketing ploys. Most programs and products that they think will change their life for the better, are in reality fake, or only provide assistance with one small area of life.

The majority of alternative health practitioners recommend nutritional supplements in the form of pills, potions and powders to the point that they closely resemble the physicians who support big pharma.  We all would like to find that “magic bullet” but the truth is that we are complex and we need to address all aspects of who we are in order to thrive.

I have seen people who support the whole/raw foods movements but fail to avoid the risks of eating pesticide laden foods.  I have seen vegans eating a lot of processed, sugar laden and cooked-to-death foods.  I have seen healthy eaters who prepare and serve foods in toxic kitchenware, cheap disposable and very toxic party supplies, or plastic/styrofoam take-out containers.

Truth is we need to learn to eat real, clean, fresh domestic and wild foods – in other words: a biologically appropriate diet.  We need to learn to detoxify and alkalize our bodies on a daily basis if we want to recover from or prevent disease.  No one is perfect but there needs to be some serious self-reflection regarding lifestyle if people want to recover, heal and get more out of life.

This is why I developed and personally follow the 9 Steps to Quantum Health Transformation.

Quantum Health Transformation™ includes everything you need to know in order to transform your health and life experience into a complete state of wellness. It is more than physical, mental, spiritual or social. I offer tools, methods & practices to assist you to become the change you want to see in the world.  We are all connected: Heal the planet by healing yourself.  This is the New Health Paradigm.

Quantum Health is the total state of well-being made up of many components which must be understood and upgraded as a comprehensive unit in order to gain the desired final result. Bring comfort to the body, happiness to the mind and joy to the spirit through detoxification & nutrition, grounding & spiritual practises, light/shadow & female/male energy integration techniques, and the Law of Attraction.

My website will give you everything you need to transform your life and become the healthiest, happiest you possible! Quantum Health Transformation™ is the same program I use myself; in fact I developed it as I lost and keep off 178 pounds of excess weight and continue to evolve and enjoy the life I have always wanted. This free online 9 Step course will assist anyone (with any health or lifestyle concerns) to heal, evolve and thrive. I also offer an expanding selection of products to help you to get started, and a full range of educational and support services.  You are not alone.

Freedom from illness, freedom from fear and loneliness, freedom from feelings of separation and alienation: I will assist you with your freedom process.

Karen Holton BSW, Diploma in Women’s Studies, Health Coach & Lightworker.

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My Story – Part Two

Karen Holton

After my children were born, my physical and mental symptoms got worse, and I weighed a whopping 320 pounds!  Over the years I tried many western and alternative healing modalities along with fad diets, TOPS, fen-phen (phentermine), Weight Watchers, etc. with only temporary, limited success.  I had to keep trying because I was desperate.  I had the option to give up and die, but I could not abandon my children, and I had the overwhelming feeling that I was meant for better times – so I hung in there year after year.  I also attended many therapy sessions: day therapy, residential therapy, counselling, AA, NA, etc. with limited success.

During all of this time, I underwent 8 major abdominal surgeries, two of which were botched: I lost my spleen during a surgery in 1988; then in 2007 I went in for a minor incision hernia repair.  The surgeon inadvertently sliced into my small intestine in at least two places.  Even though I remained in hospital, this went undetected for 7 days as I gained 45 pounds of my own waste material, which spread throughout my body.  I was dying!

On the 7th day I was rushed into another surgery, but by the fifth hour they had to call it off, after finding and repairing only one of the lacerations.  To spare you the details, I spent the next 5 weeks in a hellish hospital experience with faulty machines, experimental medications and procedures resulting in sepsis, diabetes, a completely numb left thigh, spinal injuries, a large wound that had to be kept open and continuously, mechanically drained; and brain damage due to oxygen deprivation.  My lungs could not inflate because my lung cavities were full of waste fluids, and the hospital staff didn’t consider this for about 4 days after the second surgery.

Afterwards, I was sent home with a huge open wound, drainage tube, and very little aftercare because my physician unexpectedly left town about the same time.  Doctors are in short supply in the North Island area and a replacement was not available at that time.  Words cannot express the suffering I experienced, and the frustration I felt, because I was too ill to advocate for myself.  The pain medication was totally inadequate while in hospital, and then cut off after I was sent home.  This took place in 2007 and I am still recuperating today!

In 2011, I developed several masses under my right arm, and the local doctor sent me for tests.  The ultrasound revealed a few “hypo-echoic tumours” in my right armpit.  She told me that I had cancer and that we had to get right onto the cancer protocols: surgery, chemotherapy and radiation.  The treatment scared me more than the disease did, and I never went back to see her again.  She made me an appointment to see a surgeon, (to have the tumours removed), and I kept that one appointment dated three months in the future.  In the meantime, I restricted my diet, took long walks and developed my own affirmation/visualization program to restore my health.  Unbelievably, three months later when I saw the surgeon, the symptoms were gone.  The surgeon was astounded.

I have had more than my fair share of suffering, but the good news is that I was forced to rebuild a brand new Karen.  I knew if I could get through this, I could get through anything.  I had nothing to fear or to hold me back.  My spirit guides were with me every step of the way, suggesting exactly what I needed through my intuition and lucid dreams.  2014 was a landmark year for me, because it was the first time I was able to work a little for many years; (although I had various minor volunteer positions the preceding two years).

Don’t feel sorry for me.  My suffering has led to great refinement and a deep understanding of the human condition.  I developed so much compassion for humanity that I was motivated to create the 9 Steps to Quantum Health Transformation; and to share this without financial barriers so that all may have access to this vital, life enhancing information.  I also discovered the great power of forgiveness!

Today I am about 178 pounds less than at my top weight.  I have conquered all of my addictions, use no pharmaceutical/synthetic medications of any kind, and am clear and bright with a very sunny view of my future.  As some things in the world seem to crash and burn around me, I keep getting better every day, and have much to look forward to as I live my life mindfully and consciously. My daily practice of meditation and lucid dreaming opens doors of possibility that I never before considered.

In spite of my challenges and advancing age, in 2001 I earned a Diploma in Women’s Studies at North Island College, and in 2004 I earned a Bachelor Degree (with Distinction) in Social Work at the University of Victoria.  I took a generalist program focusing on sociology, addictions and family counselling.  My education, dealing with my issues, and beating the odds puts me in an ideal position to coach others with their well-being and spirituality.  Enlightenment (ascension) is within reach of every human being; indeed it is our birthright.  I would love to be your coach, and assist you to find your own Inner Guru, to assist you with your journey.  Life is good. :o)

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My Story – Part One

Karen Holton – Quantum Health Coach

Change has been constant throughout my life.  I was born in Vancouver, BC and spent 6 weeks in hospital when I was only three months old, due to a dual diagnosis of spinal meningitis and polio (I underwent two spinal taps).  As a result, I was in constant pain as a child and as an adult.  I received no follow-up treatment.

Before the age of five, my mom frequently separated from my dad, and when I was 4 years old, I survived 6 months (along with my younger sibling) in an abusive foster home in Alberta.  In addition to foster care, my 2 siblings and I were always left with babysitters, and we only saw glimpses of my mother because she worked two jobs.  We rarely saw our father, and then I was permanently separated from him when I was four years old.

Not long after this, when I turned five, mom remarried and I faced an abusive stepfather.  He adopted me and my two other siblings, changed our names, and erased our past.  We were never permitted to speak of it.  I also moved twelve times before I quit school in grade 10.  Home life was a most disagreeable environment, but the good news is that during this time, I came to experience spiritual adventures that sustained me throughout my life.

I experienced metaphysical abilities that others did not share, (or at least talk about), and I was told that I had an over-active imagination.  I experienced lucid dreaming, telepathy, clairvoyance, and precognition.  Due to my spiritual experiences, I kept going to different Christian religions for an explanation and support; but I was discouraged from embracing my gifts because I was told they were the work of demons.  Every religion I contacted taught me that they had the only way to correctly access God and a spiritual life.  They were wrong!  Unfortunately I did not yet believe in myself, and my spiritual connections, until many years later.

Then, when I was fifteen, I was severely criminally abused.  I was kidnapped and held with the intention of being sold into the sex-trade industry.  With the assistance of a kind stranger I escaped, but due to the trauma, ended up with mental health issues.  When I got home, my parents thought I was acting out of rebellion.  They did not understand that my depression and behaviours were due to the trauma of abuses, so they encouraged me to just leave home.  I soon discovered isolation and poverty, and could not interact well with others or look after myself properly; in order to survive I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol.  Eventually I learned to somatise my stress and emotional/physical pain, which led to significant weight gain, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, chronic migraines, colitis (IBS), severe depression, intense anxiety and addictions.

When I was 20 years old, I contracted a rare blood disease and within a matter of a few days, all the components of my blood died.  I was severely jaundiced and my urine looked like strong, black coffee.  At the hospital, they gave me 7 blood transfusions and put me on a massive dose of Prednisone, along with other drugs.  Prednisone may have saved my life but the 20+ pills I took per day, changed me physically and permanently.  I was effectively given about 5 times the amount of steroid that is prescribed today in order to turn a woman into a man.  This drug not only gave me a beard, but it changed the way my brain worked too.

About 16 years later, I married and had two beautiful children who have been my best influence for motivation to change and heal.  The marriage did not last but motherhood did.  I weighed 320 pounds, had plenty of health issues, but raised them on my own the best that I could under the circumstances.  Although we lived in poverty, (because I was too sick to work), I was there for them in a way that my mother could not be for me.  Not an ideal situation, but I believe the love and attention I paid toward both my children has paid off.  They have grown to become amazing individuals who I am so proud of.

Read more and find out the inspiring conclusion to my story in PART 2.